I hate being a caregiver...

I hate being a caregiver.

It's as simple as that. I hate it, I loathe it, I despise the idea of my job.

Being a caregiver is not an awarding job or at all easy.

Let's explain the duties of my job. I am a hairstylist, makeup artist, maid, car detailer, cook, personal shopper, counselor, babysitter, dry cleaner, nurse, secretary, personal assistant, and a personal driver. All of that is being a caregiver.

As long as I have been a caregiver, I have learned that I am replaceable and there are others out there who would gladly do my job. So, there is nothing protecting me on the job. I, for lack of better terms, have to deal with anything and everything. I have been told that I have to do anything the client wants because I am there to make them happy and am providing customer service. I have done many things I was uncomfortable with or just could not do physically. Where is the satisfaction with my job?

There is no satisfaction with my job. I go to my clients house and I am simply a modern day slave. It seems I can do no right. I simply go and hear my client bitch and whine over their job or my boss or other caregivers. I hear my client bitch and whine about me to others. I hear from other caregivers on how awful my client thinks I am or how I should be fired or replaced. I am compared to others and constantly reminded no matter what I do, out of kindness, will never be enough for my clients. I simply can do no right. Ever.

There is no right or nice thing I can do with my job. I let out my clients dog, I perform a bowel program, I will forget to eat, I clean the house, I have to listen to my client and all of their problems, and the list goes on and on. After awhile, I am defeated and feel worthless and less of a human being. Especially after hearing my client degrade me in front of their peers or talk lesser of me to other caregivers. How does that make wanting to go care for someone easy or remotely enjoyable?

I have been told by the majority of my clients that they could never do my job. They will say how they could never perform a bowel program or help take out a tampon. How they could never take being scrutinized by a client or do certain things that are demanded. Yet, they will continue to degrade you and demand the littlest of things because they need that sense of control. When I try to complain or vent, I am reminded that I am being paid to do any and all demands. My clients have even said I do not get paid enough, but the pay raise would not be worth it.

I have bent over backwards for clients, I have used my money, tried to organize every aspect of their home, or even gone above and beyond my daily duties. This way of working has blown up in my face many times. If I go above and beyond and do it on a daily basis, that becomes the normal and my client expects even more. I have tried to organize the cleaning supplies (that only the caregivers use) and have been discouraged because my client says that my attempts were me arguing and talking back. I am just trying to make life a little easier.

I will leaves job at the end of the day in tears most times or a pounding headache. I beg my boss to take me off more difficult cases. I do not have the option of calling in or having a personal mental day. There is talking with other caregivers and that only helps some.

I am at the point in my caregiving career that I simply do the bare minimum of the job and I leave as soon as I can. I do not stay any longer than I have to or do anything extra. I am burnt out and defeated in being nice or even having a good time. Going to someones home and helping them with the things they cannot do has become a job I hate and I no longer try.

Yet, there was a time where I loved being a caregiver. Helping someone as much as I could, even though I was never perfect at it. I even loved the person, too.

If I ever have a good day at work and think I could start going above and beyond, I am reminded that anything thought like that was feeble one at best. I then just do the bare minimum and leave as soon as I can.

I have quit being a caregiver once before, but was coerced back into the work. I am burning out faster than ever and only wonder how long I can put up with it.